Office workers, stop working in your offices.
Labourers, stop labouring in your shorts.
Publicans, er... keep serving please.
I am about to announce the winners of Euro 2012 before the first kick of the tournament.
In generations to come, you will remember where you were when you read this, what pants you were wearing and how you were feeling.
In this crazy world that hasn't and may never happen, GERMANY will take on CROATIA in the final. It will probably be raining. The first half will be goalless, but in the second, there will be a brace for the same team, and at the final whistle, the players of CROATIA will fall to their knees and hail GERMANY as European Champions.