SEMI-FINAL: Germany 1-2 Italy

In stark contrast to the other semi-final, this clash made for great telli.

The star, of course, was Super Mario Balotelli, with a brace of well taken goals that rocked the Germans and shook the football world. The final that most neutrals wanted to see, will now not be seen.

And you have to say the Italians deserved it. Germany looked more like England, lacklustre, out of sorts, uncomfortable on the pitch. Pirlo was, as every English-speaking commentator seems to want to describe him, peerless, a strong candidate for player of the tournament, if there is such an award.

Let's just hope more Italian fans turn up for the final and don't leave the tournament's finale with an embarrassment of empty seats.

They Finished 4th: PORTUGAL

Should he, shouldn't he? Did he have a choice? Was he going for glory? We may never know how Ronaldo came to be pencilled in as Portugal's fifth penalty taker in the shoot out that knocked them out.

And although he never got to take a penalty and despite starting the tournament innocuously, Ronaldo came close to making Portugal the biggest one-man team since that team which actually had only one man in it (some Sunday League outfit, I suspect).

They exceeded my expectations by emerging from the Group of Death alive and kicking footballs. But win it? Not likely, given their lack of a penetrating striker. But hey, they're get into the habit of reaching semi-finals, and if they wrap Ronaldo in cotton wool, and bring through another two or three like him, they could go further next time.

BBC 2-0 ITV. Why no Euro 2012 Semi-Final on ITV?

Aww, something's puzzling me sir, as an American copper once said. And now I've just said it because I've discovered both Euro 2012 semis are being shown on the same channel.

What's going on? Why not the usual split? Did ITV put all its money on red only for it to come up black?

They Finished 8th: CZECH REP

Few, including me, thought they'd get as far as they did, so this tournament can't be seen as a failure. But they could have gone for it a bit more in the quarter-final against Portunaldo or Ronaltugal, I can't decide which is the best, probably the former.

Rosicky out injured for the QF won't have helped, him being captain and their most creative player. But as I said at the start of all this, any team that has Baros as their striker is going to struggle and ain't gonna win diddly.

And so it proved.

QUARTER-FINAL: Portugal 1-0 Czech Rep

This game had very little going for it, and was settled by a bouncing header from the best player on the pitch, the ubiquitous Ronaldo, whom people are beginning to refer to as CR7, which sounds more like a postcode to me.

For me, the Russians would have give the Portuguese a better game and a tougher test. The Czech's never really threatened and looked ready to settle for penalties from about the 50th minute.

Take Ronaldo out of Portugal's team, and they'll be pretty average too, and with Spain or France awaiting in the semi-final it's hard to make a case for them progressing.

One of the dullest games of the tournament, but if you're Portuguese that won't bother you in the slightest. You're through to another semi-final, and you have CR7 in your T E A M.

Euro 2012 Quarter Finals. Predicted vs Actual

Here's how I thought the Last 8 would look.

RUSSIA v HOLLAND
GERMANY v POLAND
CROATIA v FRANCE
UKRAINE v SPAIN

Here's how I got on.


RUSSIA v HOLLAND
GERMANY v POLAND
CROATIA v FRANCE
UKRAINE v SPAIN
Even an alien who had never seen a football in his life could have predicted more accurately than that. Embarrassing isn't the word. Humiliating probably is.


For the benefit of that alien, here's the actual quarter-final line up.
CZECH REP v PORTUGAL
GERMANY v GREECE
SPAIN v FRANCE
ENGLAND v ITALY
It really is pointless me predicting who'll make it through from that lot. But that probably won't stop me.

Group D FINALE: Ukraine 0-1 England; France 0-2 Sweden

This is the last major tournament not to feature goal line technology.

The human brain and eyes are not up to it, as was proved in the England game last night. It looked over the line from where I was sitting a few thousand miles away, despite Terry's best efforts to hook it out.

But a powerless bloke in yellow couldn't see it was over from a few yards away. And so England scraped a win and knocked out the co-hosts, so now there are no hosts left in their tournament.

And England win the Group, thanks to an Ibrahamovic cracker and a scrambled second in time added on. Again, I've been made to look like the worst predictor of football results since the last very bad predictor of football results. No, not him. HIM.

HOW THEY FINISHED: 1: ENGLAND  2: FRANCE  3: Ukraine  4: Sweden.

Here's how some crazy fool thought the group would end up.

They Finished 10th: CROATIA

So, the second of my predicted semi-finalists, and one of my predicted finalists, have double-checked the sock drawer, replaced the remote on top of the television, checked under the bed for loose change and checked out of their hotel room, bound for home.

I thought I was on to a cheeky one with this lot. So much so, there was a fiver each way on them to win it at 40-1.

Those bookies knew what they were doing pricing them so temptingly. My money is theirs. After a great opening game against the Irish, it looked like I'd made a canny move. But the Irish were the whipping boys.

After a creditable draw against the Italians, it was almost party-time in my house (exaggeration). But the party was pooped by the Spanish. World, European, Figure Skating champions of the Universe. Yes, that Spanish.

But I remain impressed with the team and the manager. The fans? Not so much.

They Finished 13th: RUSSIA

Unlucky for some, and very unlucky for me, as I predicted this lot would get to the semis. So er... what happened.

The last group games threw up a couple of unexpected, unpredictable, unfathomable results that turned the tournament's easiest group on its head.

Russia had it in the bag, surely - 4-1 victors over Czech Rep in the first game, and a creditable draw against the host. Then along came Greece, and I can't have been the only one thinking they'd get a draw at worst.

Stunned isn't the word. Actually, it probably is.

They Finished 14th: POLAND

Ah, another chapter in the burgeoning tome that is Host Nations That Fail To Get Beyond The Group Stage has been writ. (This book is not available in any good, bad or indifferent shops, or indeed in any digital format.)

Poland looked nervy, despite (or probably because of) the massed ranks of fans desperately wanting them to do well. And I shared that desire. For my money, a tournament always benefits from having the host nation involved.

But alack, they are gone. When will we see them again? Probably Euro 2016, held on foreign, less pressure-heavy foreign soil and featuring a whopping 24 teams.

GROUP B FINALE: Germany 2-1 Denmark; Holland 1-2 Portugal

They've only gone and done it again.

Even being plopped in the sewer that was The Group Of Death couldn't stop perennial Group Stage qualifiers Germany and Portugal from, er, qualifying from the group stage.

I don't know what happened to Holland, and I'm sure Holland doesn't know what happened to Holland. Even in the game last night, they started well and looked like they would win it. But then, they just stopped, or at least stopped believing.

Only saw the goals from the Denmark/Germany match - this playing the last group games concurrently stuff is hard work for just two eyes.

So, the Germans, my tips to win this thing are through, that's the main thing. The fact that they're the only team out of the four who've qualified that I predicted would qualify is something I'd quite like to gloss over at this point, thank you very much.

HOW THEY FINISHED: 1: GERMANY  2: PORTUGAL  3: Denmark  4: Holland

A state of affairs that bears little resemblance to this shoddily predicted state of affairs.

They Finished 15th: SWEDEN

Ibrahimovic did seem to enjoy giving Joe Hart a bit of lip pie after the Swedes went 2-1 up against England. And yet it is Hart who had the last laugh, the England win sending the Swedes out, hot on the heels of the Irish who were the first to fall.

This wasn't a vintage Swedish team. Mellberg's highly unexpected brace against England the highlight in what's likely to be his last major tournament.

Other than that, Ibrahimovic looked dangerous without troubling the scorers, at least in the first two games that mattered. Have still yet to see him play a really good game, though apparently his record against English teams is poor.

England 3-2 Sweden

England go one-up. Check. England can't defend one-goal lead. Check. England go behind after being ahead. Check. England score two stunning goals to come from behind and beat a nation they've never beaten before in a tournament. Ah, er... check your brain, fella-me-lad.

But no. It really happened. England sent Sweden crashing out of the tournament with a comeback the like of which England just don't do. We don't do volleys from outside the area, Mr Walcott. And Mr Welbeck, what was that audacious flick into the net all about? How very un-English!

It also appears we don't mark people called Mellberg, but to moan would be churlish. A great win.

Bring on Ukraine.

Ukraine 0-2 France

If there isn't a newspaper in the world running a headline 'Ukraine Stops Play' today, I'll be as surprised as an Englishman whose team has come back from 2-1 down to win 3-2.

Bit of thunder. Forked lightning. Players taken off for an hour after four minutes for their own safety. And a couple of half decent goals from the French. That about sums up this one.

UPDATE: Always knew I should have been a headline writer for The Sun...

Spain 4-0 Rep.Ireland

Although this blog does not condone any writing on any walls, as that's graffiti, the writing was on the wall after four minutes of this.

Ireland conceded another early goal and left themselves an uphill task so uphill it proved a mountain too high, if there is such a saying.

But in reality, it was always a big ask/task for the Irish. It's a team heavy on Championship quality players that just happen to have Premiership quality fans.

Spain, on the other hand, are undoubtedly world class. And Torres is back scoring again. Which all means I'm a bit worried for Croatia, as they meet Spain in the last game, and even a draw in that might not be enough to see them through to the knockout stages...

Although, I predict Irish eyes will be smiling after they draw with Italy...

Italy 1-1 Croatia

While both teams showed an equal amount of flair, the Croatian fans showed way more flare than their Italian counterparts (who again should be ashamed by the number of empty seats in their 'end').
At least four flares landed on the pitch during the game, one so smoky it left the pitch resembling a gentlemen's club in the seventies.
The match was held up for a couple of minutes while the players and ref passively imbibed. Look out for the lawsuits in thirty years' time.
As you might know, I'm a big fan of Croatian chances in this tournament, and this has done nothing to dim my enthusiasm.
The Italians dominated the first half, the Croats strangely lacklustre. But in the second, you could tell Bilic had tucked into them at half time, and they came out and looked the better side.
I hate the saying ' a draw was a fair result'.
But, a draw was a fair result.

Every Nation In The Tournament Has Scored

That's the Stat Of The Day.

With Holland and Portugal finding the net today, all sixteen have now registered, found the onion bag, troubled the scorers, opened their accounts, found the back of the net (where's the front of the net?), slotted the ball home, beaten the goalkeeper...

Germany 2-1 Holland

Two defeats and you'd expect to be on your way home. You'd deserve to be out. And yet, the Dutch (what has that word got to do with Holland or the Netherlands, and what have those names got to do with each other?) can still progress with a win against Portugal in their final game.

Meanwhile, Germany, my tip, my favourites, produced a convincing display that backs up my faith in them. Gomez looks like the goalscorer he's always been at club level, good enough to keep the mercurial Miroslav Klose on the bench. It's hard to find a weakness in their ranks.

And yet the mathematicians will tell you that it is still possible for the Germans NOT to qualify for the knockout stages if results don't go their way in Sunday's final games.

Now, that is kerrrr-azeee.

Is It, Was It, Could It Be The Ball?

I'm not alone in thinking the first tournament I blogged about was shit. Some might even say my World Cup 2010 blog was shit, but let's move on. Fact is, the football was poor and people were quick to blame the ball.
But Alan Shearer raised a good point tonight. Not one player has complained about this tournament's sphere and the quality of the football has been outstandingly high.
Lesson learned, surely. UEFA don't tinkle with their balls and preside over a great tournament. FIFA fiddled with their balls and came up with something that stunk.

Portugal 3-2 Denmark

She's innocent! Don't bring Ronaldo's misses into this. It's not her fault. Don't belittle what was the best of a great bunch of games we've had so far this tournament.

Had the Portuguese not won this, Ronaldo will have rued his misses (sorry to mention her again). A one-on-one with the keeper that he should have buried, and a couple of shots that went wayward. Not the Ronaldo we all know and l... know.

While a great fluffs his lines, a B-lister shows that maybe he has, after all, the skill to make it on the big stage, with a big club. Bendtner's double will have increased his value nicely for Mr Wenger, should he decide to trade-in after the tournament.

Whatever, this result has ensured the Group of Death will go down to the (garroting) wire. And not many neutrals will be complaining.