Third Place Play-Off: Germany 2-4 Portugal

As ever, the game that meant nothing produced the most excitement. The Germans looked crestfallen, expecting to be playing in Sunday's big finale, the showpiece, not this pointless support act.

But the entertainment value was high, the Portuguese playing with a freedom they hadn't when they had a chance to win it. The half-time show by that super group was certainly a highlight, and the trial run of goal-line technology certainly didn't slow up the game as many feared it might.

As for the streakers, well, the one who shat himself will never live it down. That could well be YouTube's most viewed clip in a few month's time.

If the final is anywhere near as entertaining as this, then we're all in for a treat.

They Finished 3rd: GERMANY

My tip to win it didn't.
They came up short. They fell at the penultimate hurdle. They failed to fulfill their potential.
Who didn't want to see them pitted against the Spanish in the final?
Sadly, in tournament football, it doesn't matter how well you play in the early stages, one bad performance and you're going home. And the Germans are going home.
The swagger wasn't there. It looked like they'd planned to snuff out the few Italian threats rather than play to their own strengths.
And so their wait goes on. '96 ain't as long ago as '66, but given the number of near misses they've had in the last few tournaments, some might be starting to think that it might not happen again in their lifetime.

SEMI-FINAL: Germany 1-2 Italy

In stark contrast to the other semi-final, this clash made for great telli.

The star, of course, was Super Mario Balotelli, with a brace of well taken goals that rocked the Germans and shook the football world. The final that most neutrals wanted to see, will now not be seen.

And you have to say the Italians deserved it. Germany looked more like England, lacklustre, out of sorts, uncomfortable on the pitch. Pirlo was, as every English-speaking commentator seems to want to describe him, peerless, a strong candidate for player of the tournament, if there is such an award.

Let's just hope more Italian fans turn up for the final and don't leave the tournament's finale with an embarrassment of empty seats.

Euro 2012 Semi-Finals. Predicted vs Actual

Way back when (it was June 6th) I predicted that the semi-finalists would be thus, thither, whatever:

RUSSIA v GERMANY
CROATIA v SPAIN

Now, I got it wrong, in that I thought the winners of the first quarter final would play the winners of the second when, in fact it was first versus third and second versus fourth. Schoolboy error, slapped wrist, get to bed without supper etc.

Anyway, the fact remains I got fifty per cent of the semi-finalists right. The other fifty per cent didn't even make it out of the group stage, but here's a fine-haired sable brush, let's gloss over it.

And, OK, anyone with an elementary understanding of the machinations of European football could have predicted that Germany and Spain would get this far. Maybe some would have plumped for the Italians too and a couple the Portuguese.

But this is my blog, and I say 'well done, me' and I hope it's a SPAIN v GERMANY final, but I have a suspicion one of them may fall at the last, and it might well be... SPAIN.

QUARTER FINAL: Germany 4-2 Greece

Billed as the EuroZone Bailout Bowl by no one except me, the Germans march on to the semi-final, despite resting several key players.

Greece were far more watchable than they have been in the past, but if they'd won this, the German chancellor who was in attendance may well have withdrawn bailout funding.

As it was, Europe wasn't thrown into any more turmoil than it's already in, and my tip to win this thing make the semi-finals where either England or Italy will await.

GROUP B FINALE: Germany 2-1 Denmark; Holland 1-2 Portugal

They've only gone and done it again.

Even being plopped in the sewer that was The Group Of Death couldn't stop perennial Group Stage qualifiers Germany and Portugal from, er, qualifying from the group stage.

I don't know what happened to Holland, and I'm sure Holland doesn't know what happened to Holland. Even in the game last night, they started well and looked like they would win it. But then, they just stopped, or at least stopped believing.

Only saw the goals from the Denmark/Germany match - this playing the last group games concurrently stuff is hard work for just two eyes.

So, the Germans, my tips to win this thing are through, that's the main thing. The fact that they're the only team out of the four who've qualified that I predicted would qualify is something I'd quite like to gloss over at this point, thank you very much.

HOW THEY FINISHED: 1: GERMANY  2: PORTUGAL  3: Denmark  4: Holland

A state of affairs that bears little resemblance to this shoddily predicted state of affairs.

Germany 2-1 Holland

Two defeats and you'd expect to be on your way home. You'd deserve to be out. And yet, the Dutch (what has that word got to do with Holland or the Netherlands, and what have those names got to do with each other?) can still progress with a win against Portugal in their final game.

Meanwhile, Germany, my tip, my favourites, produced a convincing display that backs up my faith in them. Gomez looks like the goalscorer he's always been at club level, good enough to keep the mercurial Miroslav Klose on the bench. It's hard to find a weakness in their ranks.

And yet the mathematicians will tell you that it is still possible for the Germans NOT to qualify for the knockout stages if results don't go their way in Sunday's final games.

Now, that is kerrrr-azeee.

Germany 1-0 Portugal

This is more like it. Proper tournament football. Namely cagey, defensive, and generally dull.

The Portuguese came for a point and nearly got it. The Germans showed more attacking prowess and were eventually rewarded. But the biggest question this game threw up is: what were the balls of scrunched up white paper all about?

German fans chucked these at Portugal players taking corners. Was it the German gameplan getting thrown out as frustration grew the longer it stayed 0-0? It was just pathetic and embarrassing. Faceless dicks in the crowd trying to get someone to pay their worthless little lives some attention.

And who takes foolscap to football these days? Fucking pack a vuvuzela instead.

Euro 2012 Semi-Final Predictions

If none of these teams gets anywhere near this stage, remember, I'm sticking my neck out early with these predictions, making them before the tournament starts with knowledge gleaned from sitting on my fat arse in an armchair, and no knowledge of any injuries that may and probably will occur to the teams.

RUSSIA v GERMANY. They've had their run-ins in the past (check Wikipedia if you need a history lesson). In my crystal ball (imaginary), I'm seeing 0-0 at the start, 0-0 after 90 mins and a late goal from... the Germans.

CROATIA v SPAIN. Can Spain win three international tournaments on the spin? No one's done that before, and look what happened to France when they tried it in World Cup 2002. That's Senegal I'm saying about the matter, other than, no, I don't think SPAIN can do it. I think CROATIA are going to the final.

MY PREDICTED EURO 2012 FINAL

GERMANY v CROATIA